How music has helped me through lockdown
The therapeutic effects of music have become more apparent to me in these unprecedented times. A few months ago, when people were eager to see what life was like in Italy and how the country’s citizens were coping, videos circulated of people singing from their balconies. It later had a ripple effect across the world, creating an intense feeling of togetherness and for me, it was a reflection of hope. The COVID-19 concert in support of healthcare workers and WHO also acted as a reminder that we will overcome this. Fans singing from their homes, enjoying things we once experienced outside of concerts is a further reminder of how music can positively trigger fond memories.
I often listen to music when I'm travelling or even doing things around the house. Music allows me to daydream and fly away to an imagined reality. In that way, it has helped me through lockdown, acting as an escape during a time when life seems to be at a standstill. On the other hand, self-exploration through this time of uncertainty is paramount. It can be easy to allow life to pass you by as we’re confined to our homes, waiting for life to restart. However, I forced myself not to waste this time. Rather than asking myself how music has helped me through lockdown, it’s more of a question of how lockdown has helped me break down my own barriers and explore my musical talents.
For a long time, I've been telling those close to me that I enjoy music and one day have dreams of gracing the stage as a recording artist. I treated this dream as a secret that only the exclusive ones could know. I treated telling people about this as if I was revealing secrets, unbeknown truths about the FBI! I’d been telling myself for months that I’d upload videos of myself on social media singing, but never seemed to “have the time to do it”. So, amidst the confusion that Coronavirus has brought, it gave me time to actually ask myself some hard-hitting questions such as, ‘how serious are you about your future?’ and then the looming fear would creep upon me that I'm wasting away my life. So, when this time arrived, there were no excuses in many ways, the weekends became free, I spent no time commuting to work or doing other activities such as my driving lessons, and so I had to execute my plans.
Initially I found it to be cliché uploading a video of me singing with a long caption about how music has always been something so ‘close to my heart’ as I had seen many people through lockdown SUDDENLY reveal their hidden musical talents! But as I was writing the post, I realised how genuine I was being and how vulnerable I felt. I was inviting people into my secret space. I tried to subtly explain mistakes I'd made in the recording but resisted the urge to continue explaining why the editing wasn’t perfect. I tried to tone down the self-criticism as much as I felt appropriate, and by posting the imperfect video, I didn’t allow self- doubt to completely get in my way. I wrote:
“I wanted to start this post with a list of me pointing out the various flaws in my singing, like how I don’t like belting high notes and so on. I was absolutely terrified to post this. But I’ve told myself going forward I have to make a conscious effort to not be guided by fear. I wanted to keep trying until I could get a perfect recording but I had to tell myself there’s beauty in the journey and the more and more I practice, I will eventually get there. So here are a few clips of me trying to take a bold step, bringing my shower time performances to an actual audience ☺️. Starting with a Whitney Houston song probably wasn’t the best choice 🙃 but I hope you enjoy 💜”
Image: Ama Asabre
Later, I posted another video. I avoided the long caption and just instantly uploaded a video of me singing without any explanations. Though once again I wanted to explain things away, I didn’t. Through exploring my talents, lockdown has given me the time to face my insecurities and self-doubt, recognising that they are only destructive to myself and my growth. Lockdown has forced me to acknowledge the flaws in my character, and music has been the gateway into that recognition.
Ultimately whatever one's talent or interests may be, lockdown is the perfect time to explore that. The business of day-to-day life almost gives us an excuse sometimes to not explore these things. We always use the excuse of work, or other commitments to say that we just don’t have the time. But now, some of us don’t have to do that commute into work which previously occupied a portion of our days. We have more energy because we aren’t spending it at the weekends out with our friends.
I can now carry this motivation through as we slowly come out of lockdown. I intend to use music to break the barriers I have set for myself and I hope that this motivation and lack of fear has a ripple effect across all attributes of my life. The moral of my story is ‘don’t let fear and failure stop you, especially if you’ve never really tried’.
Words by Ama Asabre
